i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it because I queefed?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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