I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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