believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
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