things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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