I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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