she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
how drunk are you?
Several
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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