I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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