I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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