i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize