Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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