You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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