i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize