Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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