Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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