I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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