Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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