She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize