sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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