i think my tv is drunk
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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