My room smells like vodka and shame
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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