brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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