I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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