Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dignity is for republicans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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