you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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