Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize