I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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