Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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