I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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