A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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