so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize