I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize