Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize