It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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