He disabled his match.com account in front of me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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