either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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