Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
where are my eyebrows?
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