He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize