You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dicks are not precious.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize