I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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