Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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