Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize