Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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