Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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