fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize