apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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