think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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