T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dick very happy bro
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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