two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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