have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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