My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
40s are totally the cure
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize