Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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