what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize