So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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